Chocolate Milk Meltdown

In elementary school, my sister and I had milk breaks every day, as did the rest of the children. On Mondays, each child was expected to bring their milk money for the week. The grand sum for milk for a week was ten cents. About mid-morning, the teacher sent the milk helpers to get the milk for the class. The glass bottles (yes, I said little glass bottles, which I know dates me) were ice cold and was no doubt part of some subsidy from the government, thus the low price.

Now, my sister and I were not used to ice cold milk due to our mother’s habit of setting the milk out early for every meal. By the time we actually ate, the milk was practically curdled and we were unable to choke it down. Thus our hatred for milk.

Once in a great while, the milk helpers would return with something so luscious and creamy, I could hardly believe it contained milk. It was brown and sweet and something we had never had before: chocolate milk. Oh my, it was so good and memorable that I filed the idea of chocolate milk in my head for later reference.

When I was with Mother at the grocery store, I looked up and down every aisle for this delicious treat. I finally spied it and ran to the cooler. I grabbed up a giant jug of chocolate milk and ran back to the cart, where I dumped it in. Mother said:

What the hell do you think you are doing? I am not wasting money on chocolate milk. It is not even real milk and if you think I am wasting my money on that crap, you’ve got another think coming!

I had no choice but to resort to fit throwing. I threw myself down on the floor and began screaming and kicking. Mother’s reaction? Well, let it suffice to say that I was almost permanently injured when she tried to ram me with the cart. Luckily, I was spry and was able to dodge the raging cart driven by my maniacal mother.

I never did get that chocolate milk and later found out that Mother didn’t like chocolate so we were shit out of luck on the chocolate train. As an adult, I have bought and consumed gallons of the chocolate drink. I even was hooked on “Yoo-Hoo”, a chocolate pop. I still love anything chocolate and find delight in the way it melts in your mouth not in your hand. Now that’s a slogan!

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