How to Win Friends and Clear Out a Drinking Establishment

Oysters, opened, ready for consumption, rawHave you ever been to a bar that was so crowded that you were unable to sit down for a nice, cold, refreshing drink?  Our Dad told the story about a man named Rudy Day who had a knack for clearing out a drinking establishment quickly.

When Rudy arrived with his friends at the local saloon, he sometimes found it was so busy that he could not find a seat.  Magically he would produce a can of oysters from his pocket and begin coughing loudly.

After he had everyone’s attention, he would open the can, put the contents in a hanky and cough loudly once again.  As he coughed, he would make sure the oysters would be seen by the patrons.

The sight of the raw oysters was enough to make everyone in the place seek a bathroom or fresh air.  They weren’t sure if he had just coughed up a lung or had some dreadful disease like tuberculosis.

Away they went and lo and behold there were plenty of seats for Rudy and his buddies to belly up to the bar.  Worked like a charm or maybe more like a disgusting cans of oysters!

Lesson:  When in doubt, a can of oysters is your best bet!

 

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