Have You Never Been Mellow?

Pink nail polish.When I was in fourth grade, I decided to paint my fingernails blue.  I’m not sure where I got the nail polish. Thinking it would look “deluxe,” I painted my fingernails a lovely sky blue.  Off to school I went thinking I looked totally cool.

I found myself admiring them whenever I had a free moment and showed them off at recess.  I was on cloud nine with my beautiful nails until the teacher called me up to the front of the class.  I guess I must have been spending too much time admiring my handiwork and too little time focusing on my education!

The next thing I knew, off to the principal’s office we went.  My teacher told the principal that my nails were a distraction the principal agreed wholeheartedly.  They were disturbed by my lack of remorse and ordered me home.

Their general sentiment seemed to be:

Blue is not a mellow color!

Which surprised me, because I always thought of blue as a mellow color.

I was informed that I would not be allowed to return until the polish was gone.

I took my time heading home, knowing that Mary would be beside herself because I was cutting into her time to be kid-free. Would she be drunk? Medicated? Rage-y? All of the above?

As you know, life with our mother was generally a crap shoot of mood swings, medication, and martinis. Even with that toxic blend, we could usually bet on at least a few consistencies in her.

Once I arrived home this particular day, I told Mary what had happened, waiting for her to explode.  I was not disappointed.

She began belittling me, the school, the teacher and most of the city. The tirade built up to her proclamation:

It was stupid of you to do such a foolish thing but why didn’t the school have any polish remover so you could take it off?

It would have been a relatively easy thing to take care of.  But Mary never took the easy road.

Off to the store we went to buy some polish remover.  Back home we flew so I could quickly take it off and return to school, thus allowing Mary to return to her mischief.

Upon my return, the teacher checked my nails and told me to never wear blue polish again.  So much for being a trend setter!

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