Spam: A Love Affair


Mary had a love affair with processed meats.

Spam was her favorite, though she went through a number of different “favorites” in her life. As mentioned before, to say she had an addictive personality would be putting it mildly.

Mary would find something she liked, and then in the words of the Coneheads she would “consume mass quantities.”

Sometimes, her new thing was something healthy (such as peaches). Sometimes, her new thing was something less than healthy (such as whiskey). Whatever the item or its qualities, she would partake in it massively and inflict it on any nearby victims relentlessly.

So here is her recipe for Fried Spam…


  • 1 can spam, cubed
  • 5 potatoes
  • 1 onion
  • 2 Tbsp oil
  • Seasoned salt and pepper to taste

The only way I will eat Spam is fried.


  • Slice the potatoes by cutting in half lengthwise then slicing.
  • Chop the onion.
  • Dice up the spam.
  • Heat oil in a heavy skillet on Medium heat.
  • Add Potatoes and cook for about 10 minutes stirring often.
  • Add the onion and Spam.
  • Continue to cook stirring often until potatoes are crisp and Spam has good color (as good a color as Spam can have)

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