English: The Spam-mobile.Mary was obsessed with processed meat.  Her “diets” always included bologna paired with tomatoes or peaches and cottage cheese.  No, she didn’t lose weight; but she did get to enjoy her favorite processed food.

From the time Lindy and I were toddlers, Mary began buying Spam.  Of course, it was very economical and Mary always enjoyed a bargain.  Beyond that, Spam could be stored in a cupboard indefinitely.

Mary got very disgusted when she bought fresh meat and it went bad after a week or so.  She always had to be in the mood for a certain food, and often after purchasing hamburger she would decide she was no longer in the mood for it.

As for steak, she never purchased it because she did not like it.  Dad would take Lindy and I to the grocery store and purchase steak whenever Mary was gone.  We would return home and he would broil a giant steak which the three of us would enjoy prior to Mary’s return.

Once she got home, she always insisted she could smell the cooked meat and that it was making her sick.

The only thing I really liked about Spam was that Dad would take his pen and color in the letters S, P, and M.  Only the A would show and Dad would say it was an A for Abby.  That made Spam a special treat to me.  Lindy tried to enjoy the pink, greasy meat, but it just didn’t click for her.  I think it was about that time that she stopped eating meat.

Nevertheless, Mary continued opening the blue cans and cutting the pink loaf into thin slices which she then fried in a small skillet.  Once the greasy meat had been fried to a crispy brown, she would slap it on two slices of bread and call it a sandwich.  She never put anything with it like cheese or mustard or lettuce or one of her “diet tomatoes.”  I guess she didn’t want to interfere with the taste of the grease.


  1. Mary Berner says:

    Oh how I remember those spam sandwiches that my grandfather and I enjoyed–and on nice soft white bread. When we did not have any Spam–Grandpa would fry bacon till crisp and we would put that nice soft bread in the bacon grease to soak a second then remove, add bacon slices and mustard–it takes me back to my wonderful Grandfather. All this was done when both my parents were working–we were not stupid!

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