A Far From Normal College Experience

I decided to attend a college in Minnesota after reading a lovely brochure about all the amenities. It was located on a beautiful lake, very liberal and offered many opportunities to excel in a broad range of activities. I had completed two years at a college that did not offer a four year degree so was looking to expand my horizons.

CollegeI eagerly filled out the admission papers and sent them in. Counting the days until my acceptance paper came, I discussed the exciting news with my sister Abby and Dad. Funny thing was that neither of them had ever heard of this college and wondered as to its actual offerings and or accreditation. Not one to be deterred, I was elated when I was accepted. I didn’t know that they accepted jungle animals, too!

My sister and I made the trek north and arrived with hope and possibility. Unfortunately, neither were to be found in my new home. The first sign of trouble in paradise was when I met with a person claiming to be my counselor and  found out that none of my credits transferred. I was floored! Not even Western Civilization? Nope. How about World Literature? Absolutely not. I was stunned!

What exactly was my degree going to be in? How to trick someone into attending a college that is almost a figment of your imagination?

The next major clue was when I was told I would not be staying out at the beautiful lake dormitory but instead would be rooming in an old hotel in the downtown.

How will I get to classes?

I asked.

Oh, we have an old yellow school bus that runs most days and you will hop on it in the morning and return to the quaint (rundown) hotel in the evening.

I knew then this was a huge mistake and had to figure out how to get the hell out of the old hotel and this less than stellar college.

I hatched a plan after visiting with my sister and decided I would leave before the so called classes began. This meant a few days and nights of rooming with a complete weirdo and eating meals at the old hotel. My roommate’s belongings did not arrive when she did so she had few if any necessities. I walked in the room one day and she was brushing her teeth with my toothbrush! Caught in the act, she simply said:

I didn’t think you’d mind sharing. After all we are roommates.

I remained calm while trying to think of a good comeback. I finally settled for, “You must be kidding!  That is not something you share. Needless to say, she kept the toothbrush and I found a drugstore where I purchased a brand new toothbrush that I kept my eye on.

After Abby and I talked it was decided she would come up north to rescue me from these cretins. I made an appointment to talk to my so called counselor and went to his office (which was an old hotel room). I told him that I was going to leave for a variety of reasons. He didn’t seem surprised. I asked about getting my Dad’s money back and he said that they would mail it to me. I looked down at his open desk drawer with an old cigar box and saw my check. I said:

Oh, looks like that is my check right there. I think I’ll just grab it and get out of your way.

And, I did just that. I grabbed the check, packed my bags and waited for my dear sister Abby to arrive.

On our return trip we laughed about this misadventure and decided it was best to attend a college we had actually heard of. Heading south, the trip was memorable because as Dad always said:

Someday it will make a great story to share.

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