Mother’s Ill Fitting Career Choice

Unfortunately Mother’s career choice of being a stay at home mom was not a good fit for her. She resented our need for supervision (which she ignored), hated that she would be expected to make three meals a day (though the “meals” were often inedible), and wished for a different life.

My sister Abby and I lowered our expectations of Mother and put our energy into keeping as much as distance as possible between us and her. We learned quickly to read her moods and to discern the most appropriate times to make requests. If we needed milk money for school, it was best to ask when she was on a sugar high or had been drinking. Since she was a stealth drinker, you had to be aware of the slight smile or mellowness. It was an art to be able to read the signs but a necessary survival technique.

Abby and I also learned a very valuable lesson from Mother. Wishing does not make your life change. You have to do it for yourself. Mother was always wishing things were different, that she had a different life, if she only could be this or that, then she would be happy.

It’s kind of like praying. We think praying is a great idea. However,  after you pray, it’s a good idea to get up off your knees and hustle.


  1. As a kid I would snack on syrup and white bread or beans and white bread because I would fix my own snacks or meals after school. The only real meal was when my father was home. Maybe that’s why I’m having health problems to this day.

  2. I love this: “…after you pray, it’s a good idea to get up off your knees and hustle.”

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