After a recent trip to our hometown where Abby, her son Taylor and I were hoping for a family reunion, we instead received a family rejection. Even now, as adults, we feel the sting and remember the hurt that comes when someone deems you less than worthy. There must be something in the water!
We laugh about our past and know the importance of moving ever forward. Our family no doubt wins, hands down, the most functional dysfunctional family of the year. Just like in certain television shows and novels, the names have been changed to protect the innocent, or in this case, the guilty.
After traveling from afar and reaching our destination, we looked forward to the much needed camaraderie that only happens when the four of us are together. Sharing a common history makes us members of a very special club, the family. We love to yuk it up over Steak ‘n Shake cheeseburgers, fries and Orange Freezes. Food has been one of our anchors and we all enjoy breaking bread, or in this case cheeseburgers, together.
However, one family member was noticeably absent. Instead of drinking from the cup of human kindness, this family member had been drinking from the cup of grudges and excuses. I knew there was something in the water! But I thought it was sludge, not grudge!
If you have been reading this blog, you are well aware that our mother was the queen of grudges throughout her life. She couldn’t remember what she had for breakfast, but mention the name Opal and the floodgates opened about all the wrongs she had endured at Aunt Opal’s hands. It is a flaw in one’s character to reiterate the awful happenings and forget the pleasant ones.
This kind of behavior all came back to us as we were unable to connect as a family on our recent sojourn. Forgetting the good that we have shared and done for one another and replacing it with a memory, somewhat impaired, with negative beliefs is a shame. And it kept what might have been a fun filled weekend and replaced it with disbelief , disappointment and hurt.
The truth is we will survive. We do not hold grudges but do not forget and will not allow this to define us. We are better than that. Just like we do not take a back seat to anyone, we do not sit at the back of the bus. Eleanor Roosevelt said
No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.
Well, you don’t have our permission and we will not allow it. There may be something in the water but there is something in us that will not make or accept excuses for bad behavior. Our Dad taught us well!