It’s Complicated

Life is complicated.

An understatement when you have been through the wringer of dysfunction in your family. First came our mother Mary with her myriad of troubles, a troubled past, a troubled present and a boatload of “troubles”. Mental problems aggravated by alcohol abuse, pill popping, food addiction and refusing to accept responsibility just to name a few.

Falling Down the Wedding CakeThen Dad married Beatrice. Hope against hope, maybe my sister Abby and I would hit the jackpot this time. Our stepmother Beatrice brought different complications to our lives than Mary had. Beatrice shared mental health concerns with Mary. Neither of them were wound too tight.

What Mary lacked in problems, Beatrice had covered, just in a different way. Mary was more of a screamer, while Beatrice reveled in slamming her bedroom door and having her meltdown behind closed doors. We had traded one nut case for another. Our lives were complicated by the fact that Beatrice wasn’t wild about her new role as stepmother. In fact, she wished we would disappear and stop cluttering up her life.

But we were there to stay and our lives continued to be complicated due to the dysfunctional aspects of our upbringing. For whatever reason (I am still not sure why) Beatrice took an instant disliking to Abby and me. Now, to be fair, she held most children in disdain. Sissy was her favorite but later in life, as we psycho-babbled our upbringing, we discovered that Sissy had paid quite a price. And the price was often dear.

Fortunately, Dad was our point man and rescued us all when we were down and out. Never one to make excuses, he also never allowed us to wallow in self pity. Thus we managed to move ahead despite all the dysfunction.

Yes indeed.

Life is complicated.

Dysfunction sucks.

But families are forever. Make sure, if given the chance to tell your family you love them, dysfunction and all, do it!

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