It Is What It Is

One of my stepmother Beatrice’s favorite quotes is:

It is what it is.

This was her refrain when she didn’t know what else to say or if she thought you expected her to jump into action about a particular situation. It usually stopped the conversation cold because what was there left to add?

I have always hated this saying because it seems so inane. What the hell does it mean? Does it mean you are tired of the conversation? Or are you trying to change the subject matter being discussed? To me it seems you are just throwing your hands in the air and saying:

I could care less.

I have never thought highly of people playing victim and believe that we are all responsible for doing the right thing. Speaking up has come easy for me and I have always felt the need to right wrongs if I am able and be the voice for the underdog.

Now I have found that there is a new ending to this phrase:

It is what it is but it becomes what you make it.

Aha! Now, I can accept that more complete saying because it shows that you are indeed in responsible for whatever it may be. Life is not just a random set of circumstances. There is way more to it.

I guess my sister Abby and I could have used that as an excuse for not being willing to improve our circumstance. Thankfully Mother’s mental issues were hers. She owned them whether she liked it or not, and whether she acknowledged them or not. Both Beatrice and Mother were famous for wishing their behavior could be blamed on someone else. Certainly not themselves.

Good news! You are the captain of your ship. You are the captain of your fate. Life can throw a lot of shit your way. But what you do about it is up to you. And it helps to have one awesome cheerleader on your team! Go Dad!

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