When my sister and I were in elementary school, the biggest insult was for a classmate to say you had “cooties.” Now I thought it was hilarious but my sister was a bit more mature so found it rather childish. I loved nothing more than to blow the aforementioned “cooties” onto one of my sworn enemies […]

A Valentine’s Day Shoebox Full Of Hopes and Dreams

When we were in elementary school, each year as February approached, my sister Lindy and I started to get excited. We would begin looking at the boxes of Valentine’s Day candy, the Valentine’s cards, and all the other paraphernalia related to the magic day. And we would start wondering about the Valentines we would receive. […]

Clodhoppers AKA Shitkickers

Every fall, right before school started, Mother would take my sister Abby and me school shopping. We would get one pair of shoes that were supposed to last the entire year. Now, as you know, kids feet do grow, just like the rest of their bodies. However, this fact eluded our mother. One pair would […]

Christmas and the Path of Least Resistance

At school, Lindy and I always looked forward to the annual Christmas party.  It was held on the last day before vacation and lasted all afternoon.  The “room mother” brought cookies. And Lindy and I always prayed no one would ask our mother to be the room mother as we knew the other children would be […]

Lard Sandwiches (With Recipe!)

When our dad attended grade school in Minnesota, along with his brothers, his mother packed lard sandwiches for their lunch. Now if you don’t know what lard is, it is disgusting. Lard is pig fat that has been rendered. Some cooks use it to make pie crust but my sister Abby and I think it […]

Have You Never Been Mellow?

When I was in fourth grade, I decided to paint my fingernails blue.  I’m not sure where I got the nail polish. Thinking it would look “deluxe,” I painted my fingernails a lovely sky blue.  Off to school I went thinking I looked totally cool. I found myself admiring them whenever I had a free […]