Hard as Nails

The first issue of Mad. Art by Harvey Kurtzman.One of Mother’s many eccentricities was Knox Gelatin. She bought boxes of it when she went to the grocery store and made sure that, unlike Old Mother Hubbard’s cupboard that was bare, hers was well stocked with peculiar and mostly inedible products. Nothing to make a meal out of but by golly she had her gelatin and poppy seed filling.

You may wonder as to her fascination with Knox gelatin. Plain and simple, mother had read (maybe in Mad Magazine) that the product would help your nails. Yes, you read that right. Mother wanted long and strong nails. Not sure if she thought maybe she could use them when in defense mode against one of her targets, mainly her children or she thought maybe it would help when enticing men into her lair, I mean house.

Abby and I would ask mother if she was using the gelatin to make something tasty. Oh, wrong question!  “Of course not! Why must I answer to you two? It is a health treatment for my nails and you two need to leave my shit alone.”

Once again we see mother spending her money and time on the most bizarre things. No Jello for dinner but by God we had Knox Gelatin. Now I am not opposed to anyone having strong fingernails, as long as the cupboard holds more than just fingernail strengtheners and useless poppy seed filling.

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