My sister Abby and I are very resilient women and were very resilient children. We’re sure that we inherited the resiliency gene from our dad. Unfortunately, neither our mother Mary nor our step-mother Beatrice shared this wonderful gene.
They both had various excuses for their bad behavior and bad attitudes. My sister and I hoped for some sort of miracle repentance but sadly it never came.
Mother prided herself on being independent which I think meant she liked living in another state, independently from her children. And, the fact she chose California sent a pretty strong message.
Beatrice loved talking about herself to others and telling us how much others enjoyed her company. Neither of them were short on compliments for themselves. They suffered from inflated self esteem, which I call JPC syndrome – “Just Plain Crazy”.
My sister and I learned to live without regrets and are grateful for those lessons. We do not sit around and wring our hands and say, “Oh, if only….”
We have the resilience to thrive in a sometimes less than perfect world. We know we have handled ourselves in a way that we will not need to repent for our behavior and we do not regret the lessons we learned along the way.
Here’s the truth: Mary and Beatrice were JPC, but we aren’t. Mary drank but we don’t. Beatrice was blessed with impaired perceptions and a sense of humor that often found laughter at someone’s expense. Abby and I love to laugh but hopefully not at comments from a verbal bully.
When you have experienced such damaged individuals, you either become like them or distance yourself from them. Abby and I are polar opposites from the two JPC’s. Thank goodness for good mental health and sobriety!