Greeting Cards

Greeting cards on display at retail.Perhaps you saw us in these aisles looking for greeting cards.  We were the two, with worried looks on our faces, reading every Mother’s Day card and putting each of them back.  Trying to find an appropriate card for Mary was like trying to find a slinky gown for a five hundred pound woman.  You weren’t going to have a lot of choices.

What is with Hallmark?  They create all these mushy cards that talk about how wonderful the person is.  Are there really that many fantastic mothers out there?  What about creating cards for the not so fantastic mothers?  Hallmark could have a new line—the Dysfunctional Family line.  One could say,

Mother’s Day doesn’t seem to be your holiday, but I wanted to send you a card anyway.

Another could have in a frilly font:

Your efforts as a mother were upper mediocre.

Many of the cards we looked at  spoke of how “you were always there for me,” and “thanks for always understanding and helping.”

Nothing could be further from the truth with Mary.  Lindy and I would look at many cards, show one another a couple of possibilities, and then select the least offensive one.  Shopping for cards, not only at Mother’s Day but also for birthdays and Christmas, was a nightmare.

Finally, I wised up.  There was someone who was always there for us—it was our dad!  I started sending him the wonderful Mother’s Day cards and just crossed out mother and put in father.  It worked for me!

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