“I don’t think God meant for any of us not to have a family.”

I don’t think God meant for any of us not to have a family.

I heard this quote from the movie ‘The Butler’ yesterday and I find it so powerful. It touched my heart in a deep way because our mother must have felt like she didn’t have a family after the death of her mother at such a young age. Her dad was a flawed individual and unable to reach out and keep his family together. Unfortunately, our mother and her siblings became more of a nuisance to him as he wished to move on with his life.

Mother’s family was fractured in many ways with alcoholism, selfish adults and some very mean spirited ones too. No one wanted the responsibility so the very people who should have stepped up to the plate instead were AWOL and couldn’t give a damn. Since our mother was damaged herself, this certainly didn’t help.

It is no wonder she embellished her memories of growing up and being loved so much by her mother and her grandparents. She needed something to get her through the harsh reality so she reinvented her childhood.

Mother’s family was full of colorful characters, mainly hillbillies, but my they were proud! No running water which meant using an outhouse where the toilet paper was non-existent. Thus you learned to use old corncobs. Barbaric you may say. Well, duh! How about gross and disgusting! I’d sooner pee in an open field in front of God and everybody driving by on the interstate.

To hear Mother tell her story was very different from hearing reality. She continued on this path all her life and never was able to deal with the truth. I wonder what would have happened if her mother had lived. Mother’s life may have been different in some ways but because she too was flawed, she no doubt would have continued on her path to less than stellar mental health.

Truth be told, I have to agree that God didn’t mean for us not to have a family. I know even with all the insanity, fit throwing and rages, I wouldn’t change a thing. After all, where would my sister and I get such good material?

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