Poison Pen Letters

Mother loved to write. Mainly she enjoyed writing fantasy letters to her pen-pals and yes, she was an adult. She would wax on and on about her life as the Pretender and knew that since she would never meet them, no one would be the wiser.

However, if something didn’t suit her, she could write a poison pen letter like no other. Unfortunately, I have been the recipient of several of these nasty, horrible and hateful letters. Once Mother was mad at me because I questioned her unwillingness to solve her own problems. Imagine that. A grown woman, a “parent” no less, taking offense when I offered her some suggestions to act like an adult. Her tirade began with this salvo:

I’m not sure where you get off thinking you can tell me, your “mother” how to live my life. I’ve been around longer than you and I take no shit from anyone, especially one of my kids!

Since that went over so well, my sister and I sent her a letter about being financially responsible with suggestions for possible jobs and ways to save money. Remember the courtesy van idea we had? You can only imagine Mother’s fury. Again, here is the opening salvo:

I’ve worked my entire life and if you think I’m going to get a job just to pay my bills, you both have another think coming! I have never been so insulted in my life. Guess you’re just too good to help out your “mother” after all I’ve sacrificed for both of you!

Well, that took the Far From Normal cake. Sacrificed for us? Where did this alternate universe come from? Oh that’s right, she was the parent of the year! Fat chance! Mother’s reality was something from The Twilight Zone, because it truly was science fiction.

Receiving such correspondence was just another step into Looneyville and my sister and I were not going on the train wreck leading to that town. We laughed about the letters and destroyed them about as quick as you can say, “Still crazy after all these years.”

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