Swivel Hip Sisters

Mother and her sister Martha were the Queens of Swivel Hips. From the behind, you could hardly tell who was who. Unfortunately they carried their weight in the caboose and the view was one to behold. Their hips seemed to rival volcanic activity when they were in full swing. It seemed they almost could be used to carry trays of food.

The two of them together were like four huge cantaloupes moving in opposite directions to their own melody. And the melody was kind of like ‘Chicka Boom, Chicka Boom, Chicka Boom, Boom, Boom’.

The funny thing is they both also had very high self esteem. Never ones to say, “Oh I wish I didn’t have swivel hips.” Quite the opposite in fact. They found fault with the body shapes and sizes of others, but never of their own. I think it was Roseanne, the comedian, who coined the syndrome Dyslexia Anorexia. Meaning “I think I am really thin even though I’m not.” Well, these two sisters also suffered from the syndrome. Their self image was high and although they talked about dieting it was usually because they were trying to help someone else, not because they needed to lose weight. How altruistic!

Later in Mother’s life, when she was living in the home, she wanted my sister and me to take her picture and send it to her family and friends just to prove that she had gotten thin. Sick, we know. Yes, Mother had lost weight, along with her sight and her hearing, but she was thin.

There’s nothing like an elderly 89 year old anorexic. I  hope that when I am old and gray that I am enjoying hot fudge sundaes and cheeseburgers from Steak ‘n Shake with a large order of the greasiest onion rings known to man. Now that sounds like the way to go!

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