You Know I Don’t Eat Butter

Disneyland Castle with 50th anniversary decora...Several things happened after Mary and Uncle Stepdad Kenny moved to California.  I got married, had a baby, graduated from college, and started my first teaching job.  All of these things occurred without very much communication from Mary.

After my first year of teaching, for some reason Lindy and I decided to “reward” ourselves with a trip to California to visit our mother.  Dad wanted me to take his car to Los Angeles because he thought it would be more comfortable, so we drove to his house to change cars.  He wisely and repeatedly insisted that we not bring Mary back with us and we promised. My sister and I figured that she would not consider leaving her new home.

After a week of entertaining Mary by taking her to Disneyland, the ocean, and many restaurants, my sister and I were ready to escape.  Unfortunately, Mary had other plans.  She had decided that she would come home with me and be my babysitter!

My only defense for why I agreed to this plan is that I had not seen her for three years.  I guess I had forgotten how dysfunctional she was with children.

All I can say is that her stay provided the best weight loss plan I have ever been on.  I couldn’t eat.  I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t stand to be at home.  I taught school all day and worked at the mall at night.

During this magical period, one incident that has never been forgotten by my family happened on a Saturday.  I had baked some bread and when I pulled it out of the oven my husband and mother began devouring it with lots of butter.

When I finally was able to sit down, I noticed that there was no margarine on the table.  While I went to get it from the refrigerator, Mary suddenly looked in horror at the bread she had been happily consuming and shouted

You know I don’t eat butter!

With that she threw her roll at my husband. It bounced off his head as Mary stormed out of the room.

I was ready to cry and apologize for her horrible behavior; however, my husband looked at me and we both began to laugh.  How many people can say that their mother has thrown food at their husband?


  1. LMAO! I can just see it! This post was hilarious!

    • Abby Adams says:

      I am so glad you found this funny. Lindy and I think finding humor in our rather Far From Normal experiences is healthy. Our dad would often say, “Now you have another funny story,” when we had one of our weird encounters with our mother.

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